Homesick

So I'll lose some sales

and my boss won't be happy,

but there's only one thing on my mind.

Searching boxes underneath the counter

on a chance that on a tape I'd find

a song for

someone who needs somewhere

to long for.

Homesick

cause I no longer know

where home is.

from "Homesick" by Kings of Convenience

Nowadays I often wonder what it is that makes a place a home. Is it the memories? The people? The books in the bookshelves? The pictures on the walls? The walls who have heard and seen so much? Or maybe the cheesy one - home is where the heart is?

My childhood home has recently been sold, my grandparents' house will soon be sold and pulled down, and I have moved away. Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel that I don't have a physical anchor in the world. Like a place which I can come back to and which doesn't change too much. But, I guess, that is too much to ask of life. I am a control freak. I don't particularly like change, to put it that way. I usually stick to activities, people and places. But life is always in motion, and change is natural. I'm not saying that the change itself is necessarily natural, but the fact that things change is thoroughly natural.

Geranium bohemicum
Literally grows from tragedy

Today, in the biology lecture, we learnt about succession in nature. The directional change of an area's environment, for example a forest growing back after a fire. Change happens in a certain direction until it reaches a final or equilibrium state. But even then, it fluctuates. So change is extremely normal everywhere. Even disturbances such as flooding or forest fire are normal. If the equivalent happened in our lives, we would say it was a disaster or a catastrophe or tragic, but some organisms rely on these disasters to survive. Maybe I and many others could learn from this. We could choose to focus on the good things that spring from the hard times and tragedies, like the beautiful geranium 'Orchid Blue', which has seeds that only flower after a forest fire (or high temperatures). It literally grows from disaster. So instead of being sad about the recent fire, we can marvel at the beauty that sprouts after tragedy has struck.

Change is inevitable and natural. And as someone once said - it's not about how you are, but about how you take it (it sounds better in Norwegian...I'm not that good at translating). And in a way, all our lives are built around change and changes. We grow up, we become older, we experience new things, we change in response to other people, and other people change in response to us. We live in a dynamic world, but still some of us (for example me) manage to get stuck in a fantasy that stability is the most natural thing and change is something strange and something to be feared. I think a good idea is to meet the change and be proactive when approaching it, instead of hiding in the shadows and wishing it would go away. And oh, how I wish I would follow my own advice.

Books read: 45

Pages read: 13110

Brio and creativity

Word of the week: Brio - enthusiastic vigour, or great energy and confidence. (Merrian-Webster online dictionary)

I think I need a little more brio in my life. Some zest in the things I do. I am really feeling the autumn coming with shorter, colder days, and after a busy weekend catching up with old friends and getting new ones, I feel I need something that will energize me. Enthusiasm in what I do is often essential to give me that extra push through the boring everyday tasks.

Lately I have had this feeling that I want to create something - be creative. But I have so much to do, and I know that ideas don't come unless I invite them in. So I just go around trying out different mediums to express myself creatively, and try to feed my addiction to creating. It is a bit weird to have these periods where I just want to create something all the time, although I have few ideas, just a nagging feeling.

Random bad drawing of a giraffe
with broken legs (I'm bad at drawing legs)
in front of a Kilmanjaro I wish had that much snow on it's peak.
The original random line became the giraffe's back and neck.

I feel like when I suppress my need to express myself creatively long enough, it just bubbles to the surface like this, giving me this distracting need to do something - anything - creative. As I said, I don't have many concrete ideas, but often, if I just start creating something random (like drawing a picture of a giraffe  eating from a tree in front of Mount Kilmanjaro - from one random line), it's like I unclog the pipes, and the creativity starts flowing again. Not very well at first - frequent blockages are usual - but creativity, like so many other things, improves with frequent usage and practice.

I would really like to keep my creative side honed and ready on demand, but so often I don't have the capacity and energy needed. It's yet another facet of my life that I have to fit in and balance correctly with all the other important things. But my comfort is that I doubt I can destroy my creative side. It will always be there, just sometimes buried deeper than other times. The tubing will there, it just needs some periodic maintenance or a thorough cleaning to work again.

Books read: 45
Pages read: 12971

PS: Since I write this blog partly (or maybe mainly) to keep my creative side awake, I will be posting some of the written things I create here. Mostly, poems go on this blog, while photos go on tumblr. My output for the latter isn't very big, so don't expect much original content over there on tumblr (but you can still find funny, pretty, nerdy, book-related, nerdfightastic, and wonderful things here.)

Shall we dance?

Since I got back to Trondheim this autumn I have taken up dancing again. I dance swing, a type called 'fastingswing' or 'folkeswing' in Norwegian. I think it's really fun, and also, it gives me a great workout. The thing that surprised me, though, when I started dancing, was how many boys there were. Last time there were approximately ten more boys than girls.

So the question that pops up in my head is: when did boys start to like dancing? I turns out it's generally a couple of years after they start university. Most of the boys I have talked to while dancing are in their second or third year at university or above that. In comparison, many of the girls are in their first year and have already discovered couples dance.

I, and many other girls, have a general problem when dancing a partnered dance. I love to have control. I want to lead and be sure of what I'll be doing next, but that is not how it works. Quite often guys smile and say that I'm bossy, or 'you tried to pull my arm down in the turn' or 'wrong way' and other things of that sort. At the same time, I have heard that it can be quite difficult for boys (at least in the beginning) to adapt to being the leader and deciding everything. As a girl, the best kind of guy to dance with is one who is strong and confident, so that she feels secure, while a guy, I suppose, would prefer a girl who was good at following him.

It is quite interesting how society has created a set of values where girls are taught to be independent and have control, while boys sometimes miss out on this lesson for some reason. But when it comes to being on the dance floor, I find that I really prefer following, and I have the most fun when the boy I dance with is a confident leader. Sometimes it is really nice to just leave that responsibility and desire for control in the changing room and just enjoy myself for a few hours.

So put on your dancing shoes, get out there and have fun! If you're a boy, practice your leadership and gain confidence, and if you're a girl just leave all the worries by the door and practice trusting your partner. And above all: enjoy yourself!

Books read: 45

Weird nature

I am studying biology, and I am just finished with a module about ethology, which is the study of animal behaviour. Within this topic there are several topics, but one of the weirder ones are the ones about social and sexual relations when it comes to mating. Even though monogamy is the rule (at least traditionally, in the western world) among humans, that is definitely not the case among animals (I am going to draw a line of distinction here, because that is comfortable to me. I know that humans are a type of animal, but I decide here). In this topic, I have been introduced to not only monogamy, but polygyny, polyandry, and even polygynandry.

These are different social and sexual structures within populations of animals (and often humans as well). We are all acquainted with monogamy, or rather, as in today's society, serial monogamy. This is quite uncommon among animals, but some birds have this kind of relationship, and one of the reasons is that the care of their young takes a team effort. But then we have the other types of social and sexual relationship styles.

The most familiar of these is polygyny, or polygamy, which it is often called in humans. This is where one male has several female partners. This is quite normal, and in the species who have this, the females are often (but not always) left alone with the care of their young. The opposite arrangement also exists, where one female has several male partners. This is not very common, but in species with reversed gender roles, this can be quite common.

But the REALLY messed up thing in nature is polygynandry. Both females and males have multiple partners, but it's not a 'group sex' type of thing. In the example we studied, there were sophisticated social structures around this. One female had one to three male partners, and each of the males had one to three females total. Then there was the business of rank within the three males who had the one female, and to me, it just looked really complex.

So yeah, nature has a lot of weird things going on. And I haven't even touched upon the matter of homosexuality or strange ways of reproducing or weird courting systems and performances. But I will say one thing: birds are so much more diverse and interesting than I thought (most of the examples we had were from birds). But just remember that among humans, you find societies with monogamy, polygamy, and polyandry, so it's not just really weird (even though polygynandry is not the norm in any societies of humans that I know of, so to me, it is really weird).

I am sorry if this was a bit long, but I am trying to make up for the fact that I haven't written in a while (not really, it just became long). Here is a funny song about animal sex to make up for it.

Books read: 44
Pages read: 12507

Read it first!

Have you ever picked up the book behind a film you have watched and not nearly enjoyed it as much as you could, because it is spoiled for you? Well now there is a solution for you! Read it First is a website which promotes reading the book behind the film before seeing the film. For now, the only thing it offers is a weekly newsletter in which you get information about upcoming films and films currently in the cinema which are adaptations of books. You take a pledge, either to read the book before watching the film whenever humanly possible, or the 'light' version where you just pledge to want to know which films are based on books.

The best reason. And it's true for me as well.

Did you know, for example, that Die Hard by Bruce Willis is based on a book? The book is called Nothing Lasts Forever, and you can read about it and three other books behind films in the newest newsletter from Read it First. On the Read it First site you can also find some good reasons why you should read the book before watching the film. One is that the enjoyment per money spent is higher on a book than on a film, but personally, I like the one on the picture the best.

Talking about books, I find reading a very slow process these days. I just never find the time or motivation to sit down and read, even though Paper Towns is so far quite interesting, even though it is not quite my normal type of book. I don't know why I don't want to read, but it may be because of tumblr. Or other major distractions on the internet. I found this on tumblr, and it pretty much sums up the reasons why I can't get much work or reading done these days. I spend a LOT of time on tumblr...not good, not good at all.

Books read: 43
Pages read: 12166

Re-reading books

People often ask me why I re-read books. I mean, I have a good memory, so a year after I read a book the first time, I could probably remember most of the plot points, the names of the characters, and also probably the tone of the book. But still, I enjoy re-reading books. I usually wait at least one year between each re-read, but still, I go into the reading experience knowing what lies ahead.

For me, re-reading a book is kind of like talking to an old friend again after a while apart. You rediscover small things, you see things that you didn't see earlier because then you were just focused on the story and the suspense drove you on. Sometimes you even discover new facets of the book or maybe appreciate more fully the effort put into writing the book. Maybe you see new literary devices or the long lines in the narrative become clearer.

Anyway, reading a book you liked again makes the world of that book spring to your mind, and you can re-acquaint yourself with the characters and the world they live in. Usually, the experiences of reading a book the first time and the consecutive times I read it are quite different. Since I know what is going to happen and how, I can read slower, appreciating the language and imagery. Another huge plus is that I can usually put the book down easier if I've read it before. And, of course, if you own the book, re-reads are completely free! (The poor student speaks again.) I also have a 'rule' that I re-read series of books or books I have borrowed from the library or friends when I own them or the whole series.

But, of course, there are some books that are good to re-read, and there are some that aren't. A huge criteria is that I liked the book the first time I read it (unless, of course, I am giving a book a second chance). Another is that the story has enough nooks and crevices to discover new things, or that it is written in a way that makes me want to read it to experience the emotions again. Another criteria may be that I liked the characters, or maybe that I want to read a book to investigate some of the minor characters that I might have missed in my first (or even second) read.

At any rate, I value re-reads. I think it adds to the experience of the book and I have a great time revisiting old favourites. When it comes to re-reads in my fifty books challenge, I am following the rules laid down in a post on a forum called Your Pants, which allows me to read the same book up to five times a year. I will probably not read any book five times this year, but I might read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows twice (that is, once more this year). So re-reads are cheap and good fun (I think), so think about picking up a book you liked but haven't read in a while for your next read. Good reading!

Pages read: 12150
Books read: 43

Hush

The image of you that will live on in me
will not be complete.
The sad memories will shrink
into nothing and disappear,
but the happy memories will expand
and become happier,
bathed in a golden glow.

You will always be happy and healthy.
Nothing can mar your delight
in the warmth of the sun
or the smell of the mountain
on that perfect summer's day.

The laughter and smiles,
the happy times,
the wonderful hikes,
the things that you taught me
about the value of nature and life
will live on in my mind
and shape me as I go on.

So hush;
lay yourself to rest.
We both know
all the words
that should not be said.
But you have made my life
more perfect.



Credit goes to Terry Pratchett, for this wonderful quote. (Otherwise, this is written by me.)

Books read: 42

Books, bicycles, and buddies

This is going to be a post all about my first couple of weeks at university. Deal with it.

This isn't my first time being a first-year student at this university, so much could potentially have looked like a re-run of my first fortnight at university ever. But it hasn't. There have been different activities and different people, and, since I already know the town, and also some people, pretty well from before, it has definitely been different.

So I want to tell you about some of the new things that I've been doing. For instance, I have bought my first university textbooks in chemistry and biology. I know, buying books. Nothing new. But these are HEAVY books. I mean they were almost killing me when I carried them home. I wondered whether I would ever get the feeling back in my little finger (I did...I mean, I knew I would, but I was quite amazed at how mutilated my fingers looked when I got home). I haven't really gotten started on reading them yet (shame on me), so I can't say whether they're actually heavy to read, too.

Another interesting thing that has happened, is that I have bought my first bicycle, and I am cycling back and forth to the university campus. This is the first time I can say I have been cycling to school (that's what people call uni here...school. I guess they just like to linger in the past, or make it seem less scary. 'I'm going to school' definitely does sound less scary than 'I'm going to uni'. Back to the story!) It has been going quite well, apart from a few minor glitches, and I'm getting over my fear of speed. I love my bicycle, it's a silver ladies' model with raised handlebars that make it possible for me to sit (almost) upright. (I'm sorry I can't show you a picture - computer problems.)

As a first year student at this university, I have been assigned some buddies or mentors who have studied a while in a similar programme, and they have been organising activities for the first-year students. Yesterday, I jumped into a lake in my underwear three times and had a good mud-bath/romp afterwards, among other more and less embarrassing things. All this was on a trip organised by the mentors for the first-year students to a student 'cottage' in the woods outside the town. I had a lot of fun, and I was very happy when I could wash off the mud and sit in the sauna for a while.

Now I'm looking forward to daily life starting and getting into new routines. I'm looking forward to read and learn new things, as well as re-reading the Harry Potter series (I've lost count of how many times I've read it already, but I love re-reading it), and reading the rest of John Green's books. And, of course, I am looking forward to getting to know my new friends better, and in general having fun.

Books read: 41
Pages read: 11535

My room isn't messy - it's a real life fractal!

This was one of the ten word (or less) scripts which didn't make the cut when
I decided what to make Hank Green say. All the people who bought his new album, Ellen Hardcastle, early, got to send him a script that he would later make into a video. I will alert you to the video where my script has been used (when it is made). In the meanwhile, I'll just share some more of my ten word scripts.

I am considering writing the title of this blogpost all pretty on a piece of paper and stick it on my wall. I really like it, and I smile every time I read it. Today, I went over some of my old poems to find some good phrases, and I came across these:

"All things join, in time, nature'c climb and decline."

"Nature rolls like waves - ever changing, always the same."

They are a bit rewritten, but they both come from this poem, which, I realised when I reread it, I am really pleased with.

Then we have my dad's favourite (he says it all the time):

"I used to be indecisive - now I'm not so sure."

I really love this one too, I've sort of grown up with it. Every time we couldn't make up our minds (or kept changing them, both of which happened (and happens) frequently), he would say this. Or, he would say, in a sing-songy voice: "It's make-your-mind-up time!" Ah, the nostalgia!

Then, of course, we have the one related to what I'm studying:

"Nature is an awe-inspiring, perfectly organised mess."

It pretty much sums up what I feel about nature, and, of course, I love nature for being like this!

And, to show my love for books:

"The best way to travel is by reading a book."

Of course this is true - at least it's the easiest and cheapest way, but the real thing is often more appealing to the senses.

Then, of course, the cheesy nerdfightery one:

"Love your neighbour - reduce worldsuck!"

And last, but not least, we have the one I turned into my tumblr URL:

"My home is where my bookshelf is."

So yeah, I have a tumblr now. Go check it out if you like nerdy, funny, and beautiful stuff (this is what I think (and hope) I will post).

Books read: 39
Pages read: 11013

PS: and now (10.10.2012) the video has finally been made, so I can reveal what made the final cut. Check out the video below.

Repeat

Aaaand I'm back! In Trondheim. I found out through facebook that I came here exactly one year (on the day) after I came here the first time. So I'm back to studying again. And I have the feeling that the beginning of last autumn is just going on repeat right now. Of course it's not exactly the same, but I'm a first year student again, and I have moved into a new place, and I have to fix almost all the things I had to fix last time. Also, like last time, there will be books to be bought (yay!), reading to be done (mmu (that's my dissatisfied noise :P)) and new friends to be gotten. But there are some new things too. Meeting old friends again and not being confused about locations and directions. I am very happy about those two things.

I realise that coming to Trondheim is a bit like coming home. I really like it (for a town...I generally don't like towns and cities), and it feels like "my" town. I am looking forward to going to the university again, visiting my old friends, getting new friends, going to the same places I went to before (my 'old haunts' :P), and learning new things again. Have I mentioned that I love learning? Sometimes it is strange to thing about, but I just really love filling my head with new stuff and understanding new things.

I don't know exactly where this blog will go from here. I could write about my life, but that would probably be a bit boring. I can try to muse over topics that appear in my head (like I (tried) to do before I went to the Caribbean), I could write about books (I can try, at least), or I could do a mixture of life, musings, and books. Let me know (in the comment section - I promise I read all your comments (there aren't very many, usually)) if you have any good ideas or want to see something specific.

I think I will continue writing anyway, and I hope you will enjoy it.

Books read: 37
Pages read: 10613

Summer!

Summer holiday in Norway for me consists of going to the family's cottage and spending lazy days there, reading, swimming, and relaxing. Tomorrow morning, I'm finally heading out to the cottage. It means a whole week without internet access, hot water, drinking water from the tap, or electricity (except for the little we can get from our solar panel for lighting). I think it is delightfully primitive. The cares of the world seem to just melt away, and you are left with peace and tranquillity.

Dragons...they are just amazingly awesome

Of course, as the book person I am, it leaves me space and peace to read and enjoy my books. I came back from England 15 books richer, so I'll be reading and reading and READING. I have just started checking out more fantasy (after I so thoroughly enjoyed The Lord of the Rings), and I have just begun exploring the world of Pern. So far, I like it very much, but I have only read one and a half chapter. But, at the same time, it's about DRAGONS, so how could it NOT be good?

I have recently read Looking for Alaska by John Green, which I liked very much. It considers deep questions concerning the meaning of life and other such things in a way that teenagers can grasp and understand. I absolutely loved the characters - really quirky but at the same time realistic. I have also read Blankets by Craig Thompson recently (in fact, yesterday), and I absolutely loved it. It deals with some of the same themes - growing up, love, insecurity, religion, the big questions of life - and it is a wonderful graphic novel. Both books are highly recommended reads. (And for those of you for whom this might hold merit: Blankets has been observed on John Green's bookshelf. You don't believe me? Here's proof!)

So now I'm going to go and enjoy the Norwegian summer while reading more good books (at least I hope they're good...). I hope your summers are equally wonderful, and that you get enough time to sit down and read a book of your choice in peace and quiet.

Books read: 35
Pages read: 9834

Home to tragedy

And then I'm home again. I must say, it is pretty weird. Everyone speaking Norwegian, people driving on the right-hand side of the road, Norwegian spreads, and in general, food. It sure is good to be home. At the same time, everything is just the same as when I left, so it is almost as if I never left. Yes, it has changed from winter to summer, but it is still the home I know and love.

I had just come home and settled down when tragedy struck. We listened to the radio in disbelief on Friday the 22nd of July. A huge bomb had gone off in the centre of Oslo, in the area where the government have their offices. The blast could be heard all over Oslo. Windows were blown in many blocks away. In the words of the media, the area looked like a 'war-zone'. Just as the horror of what had happened to our peaceful country and town was sinking in, reports started coming in about a possible shooting somewhere else. At Utøya, a man dressed as a policeman had gone into the summer camp of the labour party's youth. When he was in their midst, he had begun shooting around him, killing with a purpose. It turned out that this man had also set off the bomb in the government area in town.

The streets of Oslo were transformed into a sea of flowers under the memorial march

Most people were in shock. How could this happen to our peaceful country, in the middle of the summer holiday? Why would anyone do this? As the death toll started growing beyond anything that has happened in Norway since World War II, shock turned to disbelief and grief. The Norwegian people went out to show their support and stand together in the face of tragedy. Yesterday, a rose march was planned, but too many people turned up to show their support of the victims and their families. The Prime Minister, luckily unharmed by the bomb, addressed the crowd, and the marchers went home again, decorating the city in hundreds of thousands of roses as they went.

As shocking as this is, I can't say I haven't been expecting something horrible like this to happen. But at the same time it is horrible when more than 75 civilians are killed in one day in peace-time. Many of my friends have lost their friends and family members. As far as I know, none of my friends are harmed. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people who are affected by this. I pray that peace and love will prevail, and that this will lead to an even more united, but at the same time open and including, Norway.

Books read: 33
Pages read: 9123

Gardens and waterfalls

This is going to be the last post about my time in St. Vincent. I know it is overdue, but at least now it is here. The last couple of weeks in the Caribbean, Kristina and I did some sightseeing, so that I could experience the must-dos of the island.

One day, we went to Kingstown to visit the botanical garden and Montreal garden. It was wonderful. The botanical garden had a wonderful alley, see picture. At the top of the alley, there was a space where you could get married. How amazing would that be? It was very well kept, and it was lovely.

From the botanical garden we took an overpriced taxi to the Montreal garden. It is a privately owned garden, and it was absolutely enchanting. There were wonderful flowers everywhere you looked, and cute walkways to experience it all. Most of it was pretty jungle-like, but some parts were manicured and beautiful in that sense. I absolutely loved it and went wild taking pictures of all the wonders of nature.

My last weekend, I decided to visit some waterfalls in the area where I was staying. I went with some friends to a waterfall called Trinity falls. It was quite a long hike, but we found provisions along the way. There were a lot of ripe fruits growing along our route. We found oranges, grapefruit, and mango, and we also bought a pineapple from a farmer we met along the way. The picture shows me holding the almost invisible (or almost eaten) pineapple. It was a bit smaller than I give the impression of, but it was very nice and juicy.

I find water very interesting. We are dependent upon it to survive - our bodies are mostly made up of water. It also makes for interesting visual experiences, and there is something attractive about water falling down a hill or a cliff. It is almost dreamlike to capture in a photograph, but it is the basis of life on this planet. It is everywhere, but at the same time, it captures our interest and draws us to the places where it behaves unusually (i.e. falls down vertically). Clean water is beautiful, not only when it falls down a sheer drop, but when it comes out of our taps or when it saves a baby from dying.

But there are people who don't have access to clean water. In East Africa, there is a drought right now. And instead of just sitting at home enjoying the fact that we can drink the water that comes out of our taps (and the fact that we have water coming out of taps in our homes), we can do something to help other people to enjoy these privileges. If you want to donate to help in the East Africa crisis, you can go here. If you want to help creating a stable and safe water source for communities in developing countries, go here. This organisation works to help children, and therefore also works on creating clean water sources. Water is vital for our survival, and everyone should have access to it.

The day after I had visited Trinity falls, I visited Dark View falls. This is closer to where I was staying, and a wonderful quiet haven. The falling water seemed dreamlike and magical when captured with a camera. It seemed like a beautiful veil, fit for the princess of the forest, from a forgotten fairy tale.

I have a feeling most of you didn't understand last week's blog post. I made a promise to myself that when I finished my challenge of reading 30 books between Christmas 2010 and Christmas 2011, I would write a very silly story incorporating all the titles of the books I had read. So that was last week's blog post, and you can check it out here. Now that I have completed my challenge, I think it is time to reveal to you all that I have had another reading challenge going for a while. I want to join many other people in trying to read 50 books in 2011. So I will be removing the book I read in 2010 from my list, and I will count books and pages read from January 1, 2011.

Books read: 29
Pages read: 7824

The romp in the park

A beautiful morning in the whole of the nation, the hobbit awakened the princess. Diaries written that day tell that Matilda, the princess, decided to have a day of naked liberty in the park. Everyone thought it was a good idea, and also an event furthering the education of little Tree, which is what the twits of the town of the two towers called the mayor's son. The mockingjay was singing in the treetop, and the hunger games, a game to see who could eat the most, was well under way.

The big, fat general, or the BFG, as the fantastic Mr Fox had called him, was the judge of the competition, together with a golden mare. The general was wearing clothes the colour of magic, and was high on juice from the night before. The winner of the competition was therefore chosen by a horse, and the life of Pi (so called for being small and round) just became more interesting. Horsefeathers! he exclaimed as his hair was catching fire and he stood there with his prize. The fellowship of the ring (the fire brigade of the town) rushed him to the seventh well, which was the closest. Harry Potter and the deathly hallows, the master potter and the gardeners of the town, stood watching as all this was happening, ready to continue watering the plants (and guests), as they had been doing, without fault, for the last 3096 days.

The father of the princess, who had been researching fantastic beasts, and where to find them, was on his way home again. On his journeys he had met Charlie, and the great glass elevator (a fantastic transparent beast who was hovering behind him), and another Charlie, and the chocolate factory (a strange, multicoloured animal which regularly defecated the most wonderful chocolate). The return of the king was accompanied by the sound of music from an orchestra conducted by the great Gatsby, the best conductor in the country. The ceremonial 13 little blue envelopes of the city (for wealth and stability) were presented to the king, and the celebrations continued into the night.

Books read: 30
Pages read: 7969

Stars

Stars above and stars below
join together in the glow
of nature speeding on its way,
always towards another day.

The starry dance is slow, slow,
but underneath me stars will grow.
Born into this world
when water is swirled.

The dance of fiery points in air
continues on without a care
for the waltz up there
or the tango here
under waves so clear.

All together they join in time
nature's climb
and decline.

Rolling like waves
    ever changing,
    always the same.

The huge eternal ballet
of nature dancing on its way
through night on to a new day.


Books read: 29
Pages read: 7765

The end...but not really

In just a few hours I will be leaving St. Vincent. When I say to people here that I am leaving, I sometimes get the question: "Are you happy?" I am taken a bit off guard by this question. What does that really mean?

Am I happy to be leaving this wonderful place with all its abundant nature? Am I happy to leave the people here, that I have gotten to know quite well over the past three months? Am I happy to leave the horses, who have been some of my best friends here? No, no, and no. Of course not.

But then: Am I happy to be going back to a place where I understand what most people say? Am I happy to be going back home? Am I happy that I will meet my friends and family soon? Yes, of course.

I think what the question really asks is whether I am content with leaving at this time. And after having thought a bit about it, I think I can quite firmly answer yes. This has been a wonderful experience, but now I have had my fill. I miss home, a culture that I know, a language that I understand, my family, and my close friends. Of course I will miss this place, but in my heart there is a feeling of 'rightness' about going home now. The place here, the horses, the nature, and the people I have met here will always have a special place in my heart. I will treasure the memories and return to the blogposts I have written about this adventure often (especially during winter, when the days are short and cold).

But my adventures aren't over. Life is in itself an adventure, and next in my life comes a three week stay in England. I also have some things to write about that I have experienced during the last couple of weeks here, so look forward to some more pictures and magical moments. For now, enjoy this film about my everyday life here (I do the voiceover, hope you like it).

Books read: 27

A wanna ride a harse

Before I came here, I found out via wikipedia that the language spoken in St. Vincent was English. Then I came here, and I realised that I couldn't understand anything. Here at Richmond Vale Academy, most people speak Spanish. I don't speak Spanish, so I was lost at mealtimes, and any time I was with Spanish-speaking people (all the time, in other words). And the locals here speak what is called 'Broken English'.

We had some groups of local schoolchildren visiting a while back. We were showing them around and teaching them about the animals and the gardens. When they came running towards the horses, they would often shout: "A wanna ride a harse!" We thought that was a bit funny. The way they talk here is really difficult to understand. They speak fast, and slur the words together. There are certain sounds they just don't pronounce, like 'th'. 'The' becomes 'da', and 'birthday' becomes something along the lines of 'bird day'. The slogan for one of the political parties in St. Vincent the previous election was: 'We naah tun back'. This was printed on T-shirts (with this spelling), and I didn't understand what it meant before I said it under my breath to myself. It is really strange (and a bit funny) to read these obvious spelling mistakes, since I notice them easily and get irritated if I am at home or on the internet. Here, though, it is mostly just funny. It is really difficult to learn the local language, so the only thing I can actually say (and understand) is 'me na no' (I don't know).

Now, on to something else. These flies have been flying around and landing random places. They are connected in pairs by their bodies, so I have been calling them double flies. It is like I am almost constantly seeing flies having sex, and also having sex on me (in my hair, on my skirt, etc.). Frankly, it's a bit irritating. But it's also fascinating. Especially how they can survive and navigate (if they do so at all), being connected like that. And also what the point of this connecting thing is (how it works). I guess biology is the right field for me, since I'm asking these questions all the time. I love being curious about nature!


Books read: 26
Pages read: 7213

Leadership

Now that my stay here is nearing its end, I have realised that I have learned a lot about what constitutes good leadership.

Jack (on the left) and Darling grazing together

In the herd here, there is one mare, Darling, who is the lead mare. In a way, I see her role in the herd as a 'queen'. She is a fair and just leader who leads by example. She is acutely aware of her surroundings at all times and is always the first to investigate something new or scary. She will almost always be the first to notice an open gate, and to notice when my focus is lacking when I'm working with her. She is not dominant, and the others freely choose to follow her. To be elected a leader like that, a horse has to follow the rules of the herd and apply them correctly to increase their rank. In this way, the horse earns respect from the other horses in the herd, and the herd has a say in the forming of the lead horse. Through good leadership and effective pecking order, every horse knows its place in the herd. This creates harmony, security for the individual, and a unified group, working together in the best way according to each horse's ability and personality.

Pecking order is a kind of chain of command, supporting and educating all individuals, from the strongest to the weakest. It is the framework of the herd, and comes from the fact that horses are social  animals, and also prey animals. Because of this they need someone to follow when danger is at hand, so that the whole herd can work together and stay safe. One of the rules in the horses' code (like 'the code' at sea) is that if a horse cannot find a leader to follow, it is its job to lead. (see Naked Liberty by Carolyn Resnick, p.171) A horse feels more secure and safe when it is following a leader, and the best partnerships humans have with horses come from the human proving itself as a good leader to the horse, and the horse deciding to follow and trust the human.

Dictatorship is definitely not good leadership. Dictatorship in a herd would not work at all, and that style of leadership (the dominant style) would always be questioned. The only male in the herd here, Jack, is a dominant horse. He is not as respected as Darling, and is actually number three or four in the pecking order. His leadership is often challenged by the younger horses, and he can get a bit violent with them.

Sadly, though, this is the kind of leadership we often find in leading positions in corporations today. Selfish leadership where rules sometimes are made up along the way, and very few of the workers would choose to follow the boss if given the choice. Leadership is not earned, it is acquired through pushing oneself on and up, often at the expense of others. Good leadership makes people want to follow and please the leader, while dictatorship pushes people away.

I have also realised that the kind of leadership found in lead horses such as Darling, is the kind of leadership you have between dance partners. The man leads, but the intention and goal is that the man and the woman move as one, in harmony. They are partners, but it is clear who is making the decisions. When I dance, I love to really let go and be led. It is such a wonderful feeling. This kind of dancing partnership is therefore possible between humans and horses, and it is really a magical thing.

I am very thankful that I have witnessed such a great example of good leadership here. I will carry this experience with me, and in the process of becoming a better leader myself, I will be on the lookout for good leaders to follow, because in that position I feel more secure and I have the freedom to become creative.

Books read: 26
Pages read: 6963

A normal day

Morning action: Cleaning the bathroom and corridor

Shovelling manure into the wheelbarrow...

...and out, onto the compost heap.

Taking Gaia out to eat.

Mmmm....grass...

The donkeys are also taken out to eat on a rope

Time for a snack! This is Dragon fruit, or Pitaya, the fruit from the Moonflower.

Clearing up in the pasture,
these dead palm branches fall down regularly

Checking the fence and cutting bushes to keep them from taking over.

This is fun! Cutting down banana trees
with a huge knife (machete/cutlass)

Giving the horses water (in the green bucket),
making sure that I don't destroy the recently planted corn.

Sharing territory with horses while relaxing in the shade with a good book.
Perfect end of the working day.

Books read: 25

Pages read: 6747

The flipside of the coin

Recently, the horse team (Kristina and I) had an 'open weekend', as it is called here. Really just a mini-holiday or a long weekend. Our open weekend lasted from Saturday the 28th of May till Tuesday the 31st. We decided to go to Union, one of the southernmost of the Grenadines, which are all the islands in this country except the biggest (St. Vincent, where I live). There are around 30 of these smaller islands called Grenadines, and many of them are uninhabited. Not quite your idea of a desert island (with one palm and white sand), but really small nonetheless.

We (A friend from the school named Maria, Kristina, and I) decided to take the slow ferry from Kingstown to Union, which took us approximately four hours. It was nice, and I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out that the ferry was Norwegian! Many of the Norwegian signs had not been removed, and through a little detective work we figured out that the ferry had been in use on the west coast of Norway, maybe in the Bergen area (in the 60's and 70's I would guess). It was very interesting to see signs telling us not to smoke and where to eat in Norwegian. I spent most of the trip lying down reading The Two Towers, because I was exhausted from our two hour long shopping spree in Kingstown (I hate shopping (when it's not for books), and especially when it's hot).

The next day, after a bad night's sleep in a bedroom that was either full of persistent mosquitoes or far too cold with the air condition on, we got a ride to the island 'next door' with one of Maria's many contacts on Union Island. The ride was fun, but a little scary (and quite bumpy), since we were brought across the sea in a tiny inflatable dinghy. On Palm Island, we met another of Maria's contacts, who showed us around on the island. He worked in the hotel that owned most of the island, and also for some of the rich people who owned private holiday houses. I really identified with him, and to me, the houses we walked past seemed like a totally different dominion, and I felt like I didn't belong there. I was peeking in the back window at a world of long baths in private pools, champagne in the morning, massages and golfing. And I really felt that I had no right to enjoy the paradise for free. We had lunch with another worker, who made a wonderful lunch of lobster and lots of other super-delicious things. We discussed politics and talked about the way of the world. Then we enjoyed the white beach and the warm, clear water, before we headed back to Union Island on the worker transport boat.

We then changed into tourists. We ate a good meal at a restaurant belonging to one of the nicer hotels that evening, and the next day we went on a sailing trip with a big catamaran round to some of the other Grenadines. During that trip, we had unlimited drinks and meals included. The first stop on the trip was Palm Island, and now we saw it from the other side. We were tourists who dropped in for half an hour to swim and enjoy the beach. On another island on the trip, we could have bought T-shirts with texts such as 'Sail More - Work Less'. One of the places we went to that day was Tobago Cays Marine Park. There, I got the opportunity of snorkeling with sea turtles. It was wonderful and magical. I saw big ones, smaller ones, and huge ones. One of the big ones had a 'pilot fish' - a fish (a sucker fish) that had connected itself to the turtle's shell. The turtles were grazing on the seaweed that grew on the sandy bottom, and they looked really peaceful.

I enjoyed the trip very much, and it was especially interesting to see the flipside of the commercial coin. To feel like there is a world where you are clearly on a lower rung of the ladder, and that I didn't belong at all, was an interesting experience to me. It was a bit strange to reverse it and to be able to jump up the ladder the next day, but I feel like I have gained a new perspective on tourism through this trip.

Books read: 23
Pages read: 6204

Spirit

While I've been here, I've been trying to understand what sparked my interest in horses. I actually don't know the point it began, but I can name a few influences. I grew up in a town, and had little interaction with horses, but when I was around thirteen years old my family got a computer. On this computer was a film called "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron". This was one of the few films we had at home, so consequently I watched it a lot. I loved the film, and at one point I knew almost all the spoken words. It is a film about a wild mustang stallion who is captured by different humans (the cavalry and a Native American), and his struggle to be free. He is named 'Spirit Who Could Not Be Broken' by the Native American.

Around that same time I read Black Beauty by Anna Sewell. Thus the first few influential experiences with horses, even though they were fictional, were from the horse's point of view, and treated the horse as a thinking and valuable being. The combination of a free spirit and being bound in a herd is what has fascinated me when it comes to the horse. Also, I have always thought horses are beautiful animals, and as I enjoy art, I have seen them a lot in paintings. They are majestic animals, and there is power in a horse that attracts people.

From those early fictional experiences with horses, slowly my interest in horses grew. I sought out books and comics about horses (which were readily available and targeted at my age group and younger). I found books about horses in their wild state and became interested in natural horsemanship as introduced by Monty Roberts and Pat Parelli. I read books about this and became really interested in trying some of these methods out on a horse, but I didn't have access to a horse.

When I was 19, I decided to go to what in Norwegian is called folkehøgskole to learn natural horsemanship. This is a type of gap year school where you can go to learn something or spend time doing something you like. You could do anything from drama to skiing, natural horsemanship or gardening. I was lucky and found a school with a very good horse programme with few people and many horses. I learnt a lot about horses, and I was introduced to Stina and the Carolyn Resnick method by one of my fellow students.

That has led me to where I am today. Here, in this herd, there is a mare called Spirit. She is very sensitive and afraid of humans, and while I am here, she is one of my 'project' horses. That means I am spending time with her and getting lessons from Stina with her. I love it, but it is also a challenge for me, because when I am around horses that are afraid of me, I easily get afraid too. But she is a really sweet horse, and it is good to see that  she functions very well in the herd. She is second in command, and is well respected by the younger mares. Jack, the only male in the herd, and Spirit have a close relationship. Whenever Darling, the leader, is not around, I often see Jack and Spirit hanging out together.

It is so nice to be able to see some of the friendly gestures of the horses, not only notice the bigger pecking order squabbles. I feel like I understand much more of how the herd functions and the language of the horses, just since I came here. This has come from a lot of observation when spending time with the horses in the first Waterhole Ritual, sharing territory. The horses give me more than I had ever expected. I understand the concept of real leadership - a leader who leads by example that you want to follow - much better now. The concept of teamwork has also become clearer to me, and I am constantly learning. I am very thankful for the journey I have had since those early introductions to horses. To think that a book and a film can have that big an impact on the direction my life has taken!

Books read: 20
Pages read: 5513

Pruning the fence posts

A while back, the banana field next to the horses' pasture was fenced in so that the horses could eat in there. We were told that as a part of our daily tasks, we were to check the fence every day to make sure that nothing grew on it or was otherwise hindering the electricity flow. So we started doing that. After a couple of days, we saw that the fence posts had started sprouting little green leaves. The logical thing to us was to remove them.

But apparently that wasn't the right thing to do. Stina explained that we had to leave at least some of the leaves to grow, or else the post would die. And then it would rot and fall down. It was also very important that the posts were put in the ground the right way up, or else they would not sprout. As I have said before: everything grows here. You can cut down a tree, cut it into 20 pieces, and lay the pieces on the ground, and after a week or two they would start sprouting, and you would have the beginnings of 20 clones of the chopped-down tree.

I have actually seen this happen (although not of that magnitude). The other day I passed the chunks still left from cutting up a big tree in front of the academy, and a couple of them were sprouting new tiny leaves. Big chunks of tree-trunk, sprouting just because they could! Wow. I love how the plant life here is always multiplying and so very alive. At home, in Norway, if a tree was cut down and left lying on the ground, I would be pretty surprised if it started sprouting leaves and making new roots for itself.

So instead of cutting off all the green sprouts on the fence posts, we now just prune them so that they don't interfere with the fence wire. So now, the fence posts look like small trees. Eventually, they might end up like the huge trees I saw once when I went to New Zealand. Really tall (and thick) poplar trees that are over 100 year old, which grew from fence posts in the Buried Village in the Rotorua area. Let's hope they don't, at least not in the foreseeable future. The more likely thing to happen, though, is that the fence posts will grow and bring the fence higher up. Then there would be a constant need to adjust the height of the fence.

I am once again in awe of nature. How marvellous! It's almost like magic: just break a part of the plant off and stick it in the ground the right way up, and you have a new plant! Just like that! If only it was that simple in every climate. But then, fast-growing things make for more things to keep cutting back from taking over. Good things never come without at least one disadvantage. But even so, nature is amazing and really awesome!

Books read: 19
Pages read: 5339

Beside the fire

I sit beside the fire and think 

of all that I have seen, 

of meadow-flowers and butterflies 

in summers that have been; 

Of yellow leaves and gossamer 

in autumns that there were, 

with morning mist and silver sun 

and wind upon my hair. 

I sit beside the fire and think 

of how the world will be 

when winter comes without a spring 

that I shall ever see. 

For still there are so many things 

that I have never seen: 

in every wood in every spring 

there is a different green. 

I sit beside the fire and think 

of people long ago, 

and people who will see a world 

that I shall never know. 

But all the while I sit and think 

of times there were before, 

I listen for returning feet 

and voices at the door. 

This is a quote from The Fellowship of the Ring (the first part of The Lord of the Rings) by J.R.R. Tolkien (found on p. 271-272). It's a song that is sung by a character in the book. When I read it, it really moved me. It was a strange feeling, because now I am not remembering - I am experiencing things that I will remember later. It made me think about how I have to remember to enjoy my stay here to the full, so that the memories that I revisit in the dark winter (beside the fire) will be bright and beautiful.

Books read: 19

Pages read: 5295

Sunsets

Today, I present to you some pictures I have taken of recent sunsets here. All, except one, are taken from the horses' pasture. It is amazing how the same thing happening (the earth rotating so that the sun is out of sight) can be different every time. And so beautiful!

Now for a summary of this week: I have had a quiet week (or rather, three days), with only 6 people in total at the academy. My legs are really polka-dotted again after having read The Fellowship of the Ring outside wearing shorts for three hours. Today, after returning from our third jog this week, Kristina and I discovered that the water was back, after having been gone since yesterday afternoon. Yay!

Books read: 19
Pages read: 5131

PS: It is quite normal to see sail boats passing by here, like in the third picture. When I see them, I think of how wonderful it would be to be sailing here, and I remember how it was when I went sailing. It is very nice to have those kinds of thought breaks when we are working in the horses' pasture, for example.

30. Ping-pong

In the common room of the academy, there is, in addition to tables, chairs, and sitting groups, also a ping-pong (or if you prefer to be specific, table tennis) table. This ping-pong table is a gathering point in our free time, and a very fun game is played on it.

The game we play here is for as many people that want to join (or however many rackets are available...and we have a lot of them). You then divide into two groups of roughly the same size, who line up at each end of the table. The first person in one of the lines starts by serving. Each person then hits the ball once, and then moves around the table in the anti-clockwise direction. If you fail, that is, either you don't return the ball over the net, or you let it bounce more than one time on you side, or the ball you hit doesn't bounce on the table at all, you loose one of your two lives. When you loose both your lives, you are out of the game.

The game is played this way until there are only two people left, who then play a match which goes to two points (or three, if it's initially a draw). It's a lot of fun to play, even though I often end up going out of the game at an early stage. It's also fun to watch, and you can always hear it being played from a long way away, from all the hoots of laughter, shrieks, and shouts coming from the direction of the common room. Today, after dinner, I played this game with two other people. There's a lot of running to do when there are only three people playing this game (and no lives to lose). I had to return the ball the person behind me hit, so it's about being both fast and accurate. It was a lot of fun, and also really tiring. Sweat was running down my face when we finished.

If you ever have the chance to play this game, I highly recommend it. It is a very including game if you only have one ping-pong table, but lots of rackets. So this was today's dosage of out-of-breath fun.

This is the last day of BEDA, in case you hadn't noticed. I am looking forward to getting back to my usual blogging schedule, even though this month has been a good experience. I have become better at writing, and also at noticing the small and interesting things in my everyday life here. I am now completely into my routines here, and this has really become my home. I am looking forward to sharing the next couple of months I spend here with you.

Books read: 18

Pages read: 4886

PS: For a really catchy funny song titled "Ching chong!", click here. I thought it would fit with today's post because it sounds like the title...and I often have it on repeat in my head unwillingly.

29. Moonflowers

I just came in from an evening expedition to the rows of dragon fruit (also known as Pitaya or Hylocereus (Latin name)) plants that are grown on the farm (belonging to the academy). The reason the expedition was taking place at this time of day (9 PM), when it is dark, is that the flowers of this plant only bloom at night. The plant is a kind of cactus that grows like a vine, and its flower also bear the names 'moonflower' and 'Queen of the Night'. The flowers are large, white, and smell nice. They only bloom for one night, so you could call them one night wonders. They really are wonders of nature.

Because there are very few pollinating insects about during the night, the pollination has to be done by hand. So we had a tiny biology lesson about how flowers have sex, out there among the big, beautiful flowers. The teacher in charge of the flowers had brought a small plastic container and a paintbrush. He explained what were the male and the female parts of the flower, and how you had to take pollen from different flowers into one flower to cross-pollinate them. He went around putting pollen on all the flowers' female parts so that the flowers would be able to turn into fruits with seeds.

It was strange and slightly magical seeing these wonderful, huge flowers, where during the day there had only been a closed bud. Instead of opening to the warmth of the sun, they had opened to the enveloping darkness. The moon wasn't even up, so the flowers weren't highlighted by the moonlight either. It was a strange and wonderful adventure, visiting this world of darkness where the Queen of the Night reigns.

Books read: 18
Pages read: 4886

28. Life and death

As you know, I am always surrounded by life here. Plants growing, creatures being born and having a great time being alive, things moving behind every blade of grass, under ground, on tree trunks and in the air.

But in nature there is always balance. With so much life going on, there must also be a lot of death. And in certain areas, almost all you can see is death. When I go to the bathroom in the morning, there is death everywhere (not the perfect way to wake up). Lots of dead or dying creatures lying on the floor and in the sinks (and some falling from the ceiling). And it's not because it's not clean. It's because there are actually a lot of bugs who die in the bathroom during the night!

So when I'm inside the house, I am almost constantly seeing creatures that are dead or dying. Outside, almost all I can see is life. But really, in nature, there is an equal weight of life and death. We humans don't usually like to think about or talk about death. But without death, there would be no life. Just think about it. If there is no alternative, there is nothing that defines the concept of living. If everything lived forever, there would be no life, just an eternal state of  being. We would not be able to be grateful for being alive, because there would be no alternative.

Creatures all around exude happiness at being alive. They rejoice in their possibilities and fight to stay alive to enjoy it further. People, on the other hand, often forget to be happy that they are alive. We plod through life thinking that it is something horrible to be carried heavily along on our backs while we try to do the things that should be done. We often take life for granted and notice only the things that go wrong or that are bad. Just look at the news if you need an example. What do people want to know and hear about? Suffering, death, and money. That will certainly make you happy, and you'll just love your life, won't you?*

What about going out of your door and realising that life is wonderful? Just the idea of being alive as opposed to being dead is great! Revel in all the impressions you can get from your senses! Be amazed by the human body and nature that you are able to experience! Dance around just because you are so very happy you're alive! (No one is watching**)

Books read: 18
Pages read: 4858

*Heavy sarcasm in that last sentence for you. (In case you didn't get it...)

**Just believe this is true. Everyone loves happiness, anyway.

27. The truth resists simplicity

That is a quote from vlogbrother John Green. I think it is very appropriate at this time (or any time, for that matter). The truth of how I am feeling right now, and how my life is, is difficult to explain. It's even difficult to fathom for me, peering into the depths of myself. There is always a mixture of happiness and sadness, joy and pain, depression and elatedness, craziness and sanity, and all the things in between. Sometimes I feel like my inner self is a pair of scales which are fluctuating all the time. One moment the 'happy' side is the heaviest, the next the 'sad/depressed' side is the heaviest. I'm not saying I'm always having these huge shifts, but they occur every once in a while.

I think it is difficult to understand others completely because all people are immensely complex. The truth about a person resists simplicity. Even for the person itself. We can never know exactly how a person experiences something - we can only know our own story. As Aslan says to Shasta in The Horse and His Boy (by C. S. Lewis): "I tell no one any story but their own." That is the only story we have the right to know, even though some pieces in the puzzle may be hidden well.

When talking of quotes, I want to share a site with you that you might want to keep an eye on: 52 quotes. It posts visualisations of great quotes. The most recent one is from J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" (said by Albus Dumbledore) Just ponder that one for a moment.

In parting, I have a recently discovered quote from a goodbye. It's from Nation by Terry Pratchett: "No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect."

Books read: 18
Pages read: 4852

26. Rain

Rain, wind, rain, clouds, rain, and more rain. It's raining today. Not constantly, but in showers where some showers are light while others come pounding down. The wind also comes in squalls. One moment there isn't even a breeze, and the next the palm trees are bending to the wind. The clouds sometimes keep us enveloped so that it feels as if we are on an island in a white expanse of nothingness. Other times, they just press down on us like they are made of lead.

I haven't really been feeling well the last couple of days (since the volcano trail hike), so today I stayed inside, watching the rain. At one point during the morning, however, Kristina knocked on my door and needed help in moving a couple of the horses. She said the horses were quite desperate, so I quickly changed my shirt and went outside. Then I realised it was raining buckets. We tried to be quick moving the horses, but I still ended up completely wet through. When the horses were moved, I rushed inside to dry off and change. I felt so chilled from the rain and wind that I put on my warmest clothes. I had been feeling a cold coming on, and now I was coughing. So I put on my woolly clothes and sat inside, looking out at the rain.

So I spent my day on the internet. And I've discovered a funny thing. On YouTube, most of the advertisements are: "Find your foreign husband." So that's what every girl in the Caribbean wants - a foreign husband. Oh well...it makes sense. But still, I find it funny, because I am a foreigner here. I'm not looking for dating sites to connect with Europeans or people from the United States or Canada. I don't know if this is just me, but when an ad pops up beside the video I'm watching with a picture of a beautiful woman from the Caribbean, and text saying: "Find Your Foreign Husband!", first I think it's funny. Then I think it's sad. Are there really that few possibilities for young women here? Do you have to marry someone and move away from here to make your dreams come true?

I know this isn't something I can do anything about, but it's good for me to see that not everyone has the same possibilities in life as I have. Not everyone can travel and see the world if they want to. Or choose their job and get an education of their choosing. I'm really lucky to have been born in Norway, with the privileges that has to offer. I think we should all take some moments now and then to reflect on this and be thankful, and then try to think of ways to get the privileges you treasure to everyone who wants them.

Books read: 18
Pages read: 4852

25. Music keeps me going

Today I was not feeling very well. To keep me going in the tasks I had to do, I used music. I was listening to music on my iPod and singing (very off key) to keep me going through sweeping and manure shovelling. It definitely works. When I listen to music, I focus on the music, not on discomfort or the dreariness of the task at hand. It's like the beat in the music tells my body to keep going and not lie down on the ground and sleep. It pushes me forward and keeps me going.

Making music is also rejuvenating. Usually, playing the flute or the drums makes me more happy and harmonious. It's like there is something inside me that is fighting to get out. It can take different forms when it finally gets out of me. I could improvise on the flute, write a melody or a song, paint a picture, write a poem, write a story (though that hardly ever happens), or take photographs. I am sure there are many other creative outlets I could use, but these were the ones that sprang to mind.

I reflected over it today: what would I do if I was stranded on a desert island? No music, no books, no internet. Of course, first I would make it a priority to make or get the things that would keep me alive. Then I think I would eventually find the music of the nature around me. The waves beating the shore with an unsteady rhythm. The sound of the wind in the trees. The sounds of the living creatures, singing me to sleep and waking me up. Then I would discover the stories the island had to tell. I would probably flesh them out in my imagination, but I would discover signs, like small notes passed in a classroom. An old notch in a tree, a broken branch, patterns in the sand, signs of creatures going about their business. I would begin to piece it all together, in a great tapestry of life where everything has its place and order. I would eventually fit myself into the big artwork the island would be, and live in relative harmony with nature there.

At least this is what I hope would happen. I know I am not as open to the music of life and nature as I should be, but I hope I will be someday. I wish I could greet every creature as my brother, and live with nature instead of battling nature was much as I do now. My dream is to feel at peace and one with nature. I hope I will continue on that journey my whole life. It's the journey that matters. Not the final destination.

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