Shall we dance?

Since I got back to Trondheim this autumn I have taken up dancing again. I dance swing, a type called 'fastingswing' or 'folkeswing' in Norwegian. I think it's really fun, and also, it gives me a great workout. The thing that surprised me, though, when I started dancing, was how many boys there were. Last time there were approximately ten more boys than girls.

So the question that pops up in my head is: when did boys start to like dancing? I turns out it's generally a couple of years after they start university. Most of the boys I have talked to while dancing are in their second or third year at university or above that. In comparison, many of the girls are in their first year and have already discovered couples dance.

I, and many other girls, have a general problem when dancing a partnered dance. I love to have control. I want to lead and be sure of what I'll be doing next, but that is not how it works. Quite often guys smile and say that I'm bossy, or 'you tried to pull my arm down in the turn' or 'wrong way' and other things of that sort. At the same time, I have heard that it can be quite difficult for boys (at least in the beginning) to adapt to being the leader and deciding everything. As a girl, the best kind of guy to dance with is one who is strong and confident, so that she feels secure, while a guy, I suppose, would prefer a girl who was good at following him.

It is quite interesting how society has created a set of values where girls are taught to be independent and have control, while boys sometimes miss out on this lesson for some reason. But when it comes to being on the dance floor, I find that I really prefer following, and I have the most fun when the boy I dance with is a confident leader. Sometimes it is really nice to just leave that responsibility and desire for control in the changing room and just enjoy myself for a few hours.

So put on your dancing shoes, get out there and have fun! If you're a boy, practice your leadership and gain confidence, and if you're a girl just leave all the worries by the door and practice trusting your partner. And above all: enjoy yourself!

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