Procrastination irritation

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This is how frustrated and irritated I am over not being able to just do what I should be doing and not procrastinate. I did several headdesks on my keyboard - I just want to lie down on my keyboard and sleep, and then magically, when I wake up, everything will be done. Now wouldn't that be nice...

Just so IRRITATED!

I guess I just haven't found the key to get myself working properly without all the distractions and procrastination. I find my mind beginning to wander - and my mouse sort of automatically glides towards and clicks the inviting internet browser icon. Also, deep inside me, there is a little obstinate girl who just refuses to cooperate and get down to business. I imagine her with oversize glasses, arms crossed, and with a frumpy face sitting there saying: "I don't WANT to!" I guess this is kind of because that little girl (and me, quite often) can't see how doing this work is going to help us (me) learn the things we need to learn. I mean, we could just read a book! Of course it's about the skills, but I have already written quite a lot of reports - why do I have to do it again?

So I find myself growing more and more irritated. At myself, mostly. I really would like to find a way to be effective without stressing or wearing myself out. I am going to counseling soon, so maybe I will figure something out. In the meantime, I will continue being irritated at myself (and eating chocolate) and think about the humour in writing about procrastination while procrastinating.

Brio and creativity

Word of the week: Brio - enthusiastic vigour, or great energy and confidence. (Merrian-Webster online dictionary)

I think I need a little more brio in my life. Some zest in the things I do. I am really feeling the autumn coming with shorter, colder days, and after a busy weekend catching up with old friends and getting new ones, I feel I need something that will energize me. Enthusiasm in what I do is often essential to give me that extra push through the boring everyday tasks.

Lately I have had this feeling that I want to create something - be creative. But I have so much to do, and I know that ideas don't come unless I invite them in. So I just go around trying out different mediums to express myself creatively, and try to feed my addiction to creating. It is a bit weird to have these periods where I just want to create something all the time, although I have few ideas, just a nagging feeling.

Random bad drawing of a giraffe
with broken legs (I'm bad at drawing legs)
in front of a Kilmanjaro I wish had that much snow on it's peak.
The original random line became the giraffe's back and neck.

I feel like when I suppress my need to express myself creatively long enough, it just bubbles to the surface like this, giving me this distracting need to do something - anything - creative. As I said, I don't have many concrete ideas, but often, if I just start creating something random (like drawing a picture of a giraffe  eating from a tree in front of Mount Kilmanjaro - from one random line), it's like I unclog the pipes, and the creativity starts flowing again. Not very well at first - frequent blockages are usual - but creativity, like so many other things, improves with frequent usage and practice.

I would really like to keep my creative side honed and ready on demand, but so often I don't have the capacity and energy needed. It's yet another facet of my life that I have to fit in and balance correctly with all the other important things. But my comfort is that I doubt I can destroy my creative side. It will always be there, just sometimes buried deeper than other times. The tubing will there, it just needs some periodic maintenance or a thorough cleaning to work again.

Books read: 45
Pages read: 12971

PS: Since I write this blog partly (or maybe mainly) to keep my creative side awake, I will be posting some of the written things I create here. Mostly, poems go on this blog, while photos go on tumblr. My output for the latter isn't very big, so don't expect much original content over there on tumblr (but you can still find funny, pretty, nerdy, book-related, nerdfightastic, and wonderful things here.)

Read it first!

Have you ever picked up the book behind a film you have watched and not nearly enjoyed it as much as you could, because it is spoiled for you? Well now there is a solution for you! Read it First is a website which promotes reading the book behind the film before seeing the film. For now, the only thing it offers is a weekly newsletter in which you get information about upcoming films and films currently in the cinema which are adaptations of books. You take a pledge, either to read the book before watching the film whenever humanly possible, or the 'light' version where you just pledge to want to know which films are based on books.

The best reason. And it's true for me as well.

Did you know, for example, that Die Hard by Bruce Willis is based on a book? The book is called Nothing Lasts Forever, and you can read about it and three other books behind films in the newest newsletter from Read it First. On the Read it First site you can also find some good reasons why you should read the book before watching the film. One is that the enjoyment per money spent is higher on a book than on a film, but personally, I like the one on the picture the best.

Talking about books, I find reading a very slow process these days. I just never find the time or motivation to sit down and read, even though Paper Towns is so far quite interesting, even though it is not quite my normal type of book. I don't know why I don't want to read, but it may be because of tumblr. Or other major distractions on the internet. I found this on tumblr, and it pretty much sums up the reasons why I can't get much work or reading done these days. I spend a LOT of time on tumblr...not good, not good at all.

Books read: 43
Pages read: 12166